Someone remarked that I sound sad and maybe that’s the case but.
I’ve just been in a very reflective mood because I’m starting my sophomore year of college and I really need to begin getting my life on track in terms of a career and what I want to do before I die. I’m not even twenty yet but I know that I need to get focused if I’m going to accomplish all that I want done. I know what I want to do but I need to start building a resume of relevant experience to get where I want to be.
Simultaneously dealing with all of this and treating my depression seems to be taking a toll upon my mental state.
I’d also really like to write something significant but my mind just can’t seem to stay in one place right now.
I’m just thinking about how I used to feel really close to a lot of people on this website and increasingly I don’t feel close to anyone at all anymore.
Nor do I feel anyone even cares how I’m doing or when I update… besides the people I see at school and who live near me.
I suppose it’s just disconcerting because this site used to function as an escape last year when I was moving to a new environment and didn’t have anyone for support. This was my support system. But now it’s as if I could disappear forever and it wouldn’t bother anyone in the slightest.
I’m just being childish, I suppose. I can’t expect anyone to stick around with me for very long.