50 Shades of Grey Book Review: Chapter Ten

Ana meets Christian’s mother.

But Ana’s cell phone rings, and she so rudely goes to answer it. It’s Jose. The conversation lasts three lines and I wonder what the hell kind of plot device this is.

Then Christian’s mother leaves and I am further confused.

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL OF THAT?

Christian tells Ana to do some research before they sign the contract for their relationship, and Ana says that she doesn’t have a computer.

REALLY, ANA? YOU’RE IN COLLEGE AND YOU “DON’T HAVE ACCESS TO INTERNET?”

*Direct quote.

Then Christian has a conniption because Ana wants to call her friend.

I’m getting really tired of this crap. Okay, on EVERY PAGE there is a reference to one of the following:

Ana saying some form of “holy ______”

Ana biting her lip

Christian getting mad at Ana for biting her lip

Christian being bipolar

Moving on.

Christian takes Ana out to lunch(?) and reveals that the weekend “has been full of firsts” for him, since he’s never treated a girl decently.  Christian is an ass.

Ana asks Christian what “vanilla sex” is, and he tells her, and we are given a (drumroll) GIFT OF A SENTENCE! YAY!

“I thought it was chocolate fudge brownie sex that we had, with a cherry on the top.”

What is even going on…

Then…

DEAR EVER LOVING GOD JESUS MARY JERSUSALEM

Christian says: “One of my mother’s friends seduced me when I was fifteen.”

And they are still friends.

And Christian’s mother knows about it.

AND OBVIOUS TWILIGHT IS OBVIOUS.

Christian: “I’d give anything to know what you’re thinking right at this moment.”

Christian: “I can guess.”

Ana: “I’m glad you can’t read my mind.”

Christian takes Ana home, and Kate barrages her with questions. I’m going to ignore them and opt to throw this absurd sentence out there:

“…she continued, making a sad comedy face.”

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Kate has an apparent crush on Elliot, and Jose is calling Ana every hour, trying to find out where she is.

Bit desperate, aren’t you?

“‘Ana,’ he whines and apologizes simultaneously.”

What?

Why does there always have to be a love triangle? I don’t get it.

This chapter was all over the place.

Tessa’s review:

http://tessalovespandas.tumblr.com/post/28706703627/50-sog-book-review-chapter-10