50 Shades of Grey Book Review: Chapter Four
Ana and Mr. Grey stare at each other for a few creepy minutes until Mr. Grey says that Ana should stay away from him…
But not in the way that we’re thinking. He’s just saying that he’s no good for her, and that he’s “dangerous” or whatever. Ana misreads this as him not wanting of her, which spirals into the predictable hurt and despair of any idiotic romance like this.
Then she cries. She cries over a guy she doesn’t know not kissing her.
Her friend Kate picks up on her sadness (what are you, a mind reader?) and tells her to forget it. After exams the next week (time passes in an illogical manner in this book), a package comes in the mail.
First edition books. The first three volumes of Tess of the d’Urbervilles.
Anyways, Ana and her friends go out to a bar to celebrate the end of their exams, and Ana gets very drunk from tequila-based margaritas. She stumbles off to the bathroom, and pulls out her cell phone in the line (why?). She sees that Mr. Grey was the last person she called (WHAT, I THOUGHT THAT WAS WEEKS AGO; LOGIC) and when he answers the telephone, he says that he is coming to get her. But haha, he doesn’t know where she is.
Unfortunately, I think I know where this is going… and it’s creepy.
Ana goes outside for some fresh air, and Jose follows, grabbing up on her and trying to kiss her. When she repeatedly says no and he doesn’t listen, Mr. Grey shows up.
Are you kidding me? THIS ISN’T ROMANTIC; THIS IS GROUNDS FOR A RESTRAINING ORDER. HOW DID HE KNOW WHERE SHE WAS?
Well, Ana… spills her groceries (if you catch my drift) but Mr. Grey stands and holds her, waiting for her to finish.
That’s kind of really disgusting.
Mr. Grey also says that he tracked her cell phone and will be taking her home. Oh my holy God. I cannot even. Ana even remarks that this is the behavior of a stalker, BUT THEN SAYS IT’S OKAY BECAUSE IT’S HIM.
Then Mr. Grey takes Ana onto the dance floor (yes, that’s a brilliant idea, she’s drunk, moron).
And then Ana passes out.